my dream

someday id be able to build a hospital that caters to health needs not jus for the rich but for people who are at the lower end of afordability.... you know... i walked into a hospital and there i was as a patient for the first time going through all of it without any push saying im a doc or im so and so's relative and a coporate hospital behaved worse than a govt hospital.... i saw them treat so many people bad jus bcoz they didnt look moneyed... the room rates were sky high even for a dorm room!!! alright so thats the room u say... but did u know the costs of the investigations and other facilities varied based on the room tariff too??? the nurses were of different experience levels with regard to the amt u pay for ur room??? the least in the room tariff will warrant u to b assigned to the nurse with the least experience!!! and here i was sitting thinking ill get th4e best of service since this is a corporate hospital right!!! WRONG! thay made me wait for a whole day doing nothing, i went home made a few calls to a coupla docs i know, went there next day threw an air of being a doc and doors tht were closed to me last eve suddenly bolted open... lo and behold investigations ordered were withdrawn and only the ones really required were asked for... 

this made me begin to wonder wat happens to people who come for medical aid without that big a bank balance... like the working middle class? wat happens to them?!??? i just realised that they were the ones at the wrong end of the pole....i just awoke to the fact that maybe i can make difference... a small one but a start none the less... a hospital chain that caters to the people who require health aid without looking at the affordability of it.... maybe id fleece the filthy rich but not the others.... someday... someday.... i hope im able to bring health for all to reality, i neednt start it but i want to be the brick in the building on which the whole structure can stand on.                         ::::::: bring in a change::::::

outrage!

the stipend here is pathetic.... in my college i work for free! im fine with that bcoz in the govt set up there is a whole ship load of wrk to do, so i know im having a relatively easy life... but giving only four grand for us who do as much work or maybe twice as much wrk as any doc in the hospital... seems to me like a measley amount.... what are they thinking when they say alright ill give u a two grand hike?!???  do they even know that people up in the north get a stipend of 20+ at the least?!???

i say lets not do all the manual labour and make them realise that the entire system is based on the strong shoulders of us the interns!!! we are the foundation of our huge health care system... the one comended by the whole wide world... and i dont think they should take us for granted or as a vision of cheap or free labour!!!

show them the power!!! chak de!!!

my lousy day and a perfect evening....

my evening started with bad things happening... somehow felt let down...

empty....

went out to get a few things done tht was on my to do list for a long time, saw a friend o mine, as ususal in the middle o the road.... he kept asking me why my eyes are all red... fact is i really hadnt cried.... i think it was just me being tired... so finally i said chuck it all...

treated myself to a movie...:) ICE AGE III ::D

ultimate movie....

my choice to the guy on the counter was either

make me laugh or make me cry....  i need to do either one completely and god bless his soul he picked this one for me... good seats...

laughed...

and laughed

and laughed.... after a looooong time i was actually full out there....

reacted completely to the scenes in the movie... even the tiniest of things.... didnt really notice anyone sitting nxt to me... came out with a lovely smile.... was coming down the road and tot why not just go to the beach, went had an ice...

walked down the beach.... lovely weather.... breeze... a strong wind blowing.... distant strains of one o my ever green songs... injee eedu palagha in the air.... on the shoer.... back to my origins:).... my idea of a perfect evening... and the moon was out... so pretty... the evening left me with a feeling of satisfaction and peace...

i think it was my idea of a perfect date... had one..

thank you harish....:)

i just realised how for granted im taking the long walks on the beaches....

how i keep living in my future...

how i keep thinking abt wat will happen and could happen....that i have forgotten how to live in the present....

how to express how much i care without thinking abt wat might happen....i realised this only when i saw so many people express themselves without thinking abt how thier life will be the very next min... so many people trying to cherish every single min they get for the minute they have and not for all that they want to have or could have....when i was with them, all i felt was the boundless love, the pureness of their expressions.... this is wat a war can do....what i kept thinking was... how the waves of the beach have so much significance in our lives.... jus as we keep telling ourselves we dont expect anything from someone who matters to us.... maybe it does then again maybe it doesnot.... but what matters is that as our expectation fades away with acceptance.... just as it ebbs and then fades away a new wave comes crashing in....if we are a rock to the expectation and the crash of the wave eventually we get thawed to the extent of the grain of sand on the sea shore.... but if we are already the sand in the shore, all that can happen is we'd be more easier to mould into anything that the wave wants us to be.... i must say the beach is a place that adapts to any mood that i go there in and makes me think... happy sad, contemplation or analysing.... either ways that the place to be...............

tat tvam asi

that art thou.... i realised how superficially i have been taking these words... this spine of the mahaa kaavyas... until very recently... when i realised that the meaning i was taking from this line whenever i read it was just that i took whatever i wanted to listen not what it prfoundly implied....

i think it has been having a profound impact on the way im seeing things and responding to people and situations, i no longer blame situations or people when things go wrong... i no longer hold others responsible for my day that has not gone the way i wanted it to... and i no longer say im bored... which is new to me....

now im hardly loosing my temper, which some of u might be stunned to hear.... if someone is late i no longer start the conversation saying you are late by this no of mins and dont u have any consideration for the time of others.... now my response is no response at al... there have been quite a few people who expected me to throw tantrums by not talkin to them bcoz they didnt come for an event i invited them to and when i spoke to them as always they were like wow wat is this happening to u.... maybe im just growing old... or maybe the landmark education has really made a diiference in the person im being...

now i can safely say i love my life, the place i work in... the people i meet, the people i met, the people im in touch with the ones tht im not in touch with... i acknowledge all their presence in my life, i thank all their presence in my life and also i have taken value from each interaction iv had so far with each and everyone, this i wouldnt have done if it was the old me with the old views... now its just the old me with no views abt people and its so refreshing because the min i dont have any views its giving me so much of space to create more openings and more possibilities for action.... i now realise... tat tvam asi.... a new light shed....