the river and the dam...

only when u feel tht ur life is perfect... when u feel tht u are in a happy space things start crumbling.... thts when we realise tht life is made of a lot of castles in the air and what is there at hand is just a building made of fragile wax stick matches....

all this ironically happens only when u are at crossroads abt a path changing decision.... people change... whether the situation changes or not and the change brings abt unexpected patterns... patterns u r not sure if u want to live with... for now or for ever....

**shrug** as mom says dont let things get to u and pull u down when things get tough put ur head down close your ears to everone and everything and just surge forward be the river that finds a way across the dam... Damn!!!

long gone...

One minute you think you have truck loads of friends and then you sit down and think and you know you have only a few that you trust...

Then, you look up and notice that they dont value you as much as you do them... as time goes by there have been times that people of most value to me have outgrown the friendship as i have   and eventually fall out of touch... There have been pangs and times where i miss them dearly...

When i go to a place where i generally would go with just one person or one group and i revisit there without them the place sudenly seems so empty...i have lost so many friends, out grown many more and have been out of touch with an equal number of people... but every single one of them i miss and cherish every moment spent with them... bcoz each one has made tht much of a difference in my life... 

trials with the camera....

trial and error part two:)

today i went on a clickin spree... need your comments:)

this is gonna hurt just a bit!!!

stupid railway employees... went to the station and didnt find anyone in the ticket counter... tot alright lets o without a ticket went till the platform and saw tht the ticket guys back went all the way down two flights of stairs to buy a goddamn ticket and the guy is on the phone and keeps gettin me to repeat my destination five times i miss my train, and pay for my ticket waitin for him to hand it to me with my change an he says take a retyurn ticket i dont have change i sai i want only a one way and hes like youll have to come back sometime so take the bloody return... he screams and throws my money back at me!!!

great way to start the day i think... wait till i reach the end o the day...

scheduled for a root canal... entist says this will hurt just a bit and makes me leave with a hole in my teeth that he cant fix as of now, would need another sitting for it... and leaves me with a grade8 pain for the rest of the night and i have to put up with it the next three days until i meet him next... until then he says...

"this may hurt just a LITTLE bit!!!"

a friend lost forever...RIP

today... someone i knew... from some random place(you know how it is when people you meet throuh some acquaintence bcomes a great frd) came up to me and said they were feeling low and depressed that they didnt know wat to do in life or what they wanted to do anymore...

that they were bordering on suicide... which was very weird comin from him bcoz in the time i knew him he was the strongest person i knew and he was one of the people who told me to follow my dreams... to be strong enough to take what i want in the end... live life my way... and to see him in a state that was so much beyond the worst that i could have imagined anyone to be.. especially him...

i told him what he told me once....

"within you is infinite power,

before you is endless possibility.

around you is boundless oppurtunity...

why should you fear?"

and then i lost him.... RIP.

is it love???

its february... the month of love... time for me to start using my head... start thinking philosophically... a bit...or maybe it just happens every yr.... more like a cycle... that reaches the mind has to think emotionally stage every feb....

like for instance.... i was just wondering how when asked abt what it is you like in me a guy says your outspoken nature, the way you can take a stand for something that u believe,your easy way of making friends, your voice, the way you point out where im going wrong....

a coupla years down the same line.... the girl asks if there is something that you kept wishing is different in me and the guy says.... i wish you weren't this outspoken, i wish you didnt have so many frds.... wish you werent stubborn... wish u were quiet....

what i dont understand is... how can the very same things that you were attracted to in a person the very same things thtat fascinated you in the person be the things that you want to wish away from the person.... wouldnt that mean you never were in love with the person you met... but actually in love with the person she could be... or the person u wanted her to be???