Muffled footsteps

The road looks deserted.
The walk is long.
The path tedious.
The rocks sharp.
As the sun falls...
As the moon rises...
Shadows fall....
Loneliness disappears...
As the darkness envelopes...
the branches move with their darkness concealed inside to lead through the winding road...
the sharp rocks muffle hesitant footsteps... leaving blood in the trail...
the scent of life to be picked up by travellers who come by long past.

She stands proud.
Alone in a crowd.
Tears streaming down her face.
Eyes filled with sadness.
A smile stuck on her lips.

What do we make of this proud little girl... so lost... so sad... so happy.. and yet so.....

Down the road

She watches.....
never taking her eyes away...
Fearing if she did shed miss his shadow.
Eyes filled with hope.
Day after day.
For a man that never comes.
She is joined by her lil one...
What pretty eyes that little one has!
Together they watch... they wait....
Craning their necks when a shadow appears... and lowering their eyes when its not....
Hoping... somewhere down the road...
hes lost and finds his way back to them.... someday...

Start to end

Theres a pounding.... a flutter... a powerful urge.... maps across the body... with a compass at the heart... the mind needs to follow... not knowing where to end and when to start....

Damp earth and croaks

Oh the smell.... the one that i fantasize about.... in this sweltering heat... where the beads of sweat vanish as they run down my forehead...
Where the flowers droop with disappointment...
Where the frogs lay still...
The sound of panting dogs shake the foundations of the house i live in...
Oh! Will you not take pity!
Will you not show mercy.... ?!
All of us look at the sky.... every now and then....
In the hope a small little shapeless cloud passes by and decides to shower us with love.....
the clouds come and go.... none stop for this parched piece of land....
They have other places they need to be....
Other flowers they need to perk up...
Other stretches of land that they need to dampen....

And the waiting continues....

Rainbow

And just when the sun starts to shine... warming and thawing the ice and the frost... bringing  the warmth into the heart of the ice queen....
Over the horizon.... a dark cloud appears.... the land feels the rumble of onslaught.... the warmth has no chance of standing up to the downpour...

The sun leaves the land with regret... with a hope of returning... reflected as a rainbow....

Could have

What makes a person reminisce.... is it the memories? The longing? The presence?
Or just the could have beens?

Unknowns

The last two days have not been regular... actually the last week if i must be honest. Havent stepped out of my house unless its for an hour in the evening. The max i cooked was to boil some milk.
Then came pain. In my ear. Blood when i coughed. Wheeze when i breathed.
Usually i dont fall sick. Unusually the last year i have been battling a failing fight i feel. Yesterday got weird. Today got weirder.
Instinctively something doesnt feel right.
The last week i was being an ostrich  do i want to continue being one?
Is it just me?

Divinity

The hope that u light in my eyes...
And as u walk away my dear,
As ur grace lingers in my mind....
the only truth that remains is  the despair as i trace your steps...

The gentle sway of your body as the wind presses the white garb that conceals the beauty of your heart....
As i keep looking down the path i last saw you on.....
Resting my mind.... on hope....

Sand....

Usually i get hit. I dont wait to lick my wounds. I assess the damage...get up... walk... with a limp maybe... with my vision blurred. At times with blood obscuring my eyes. But i srand up and walk.
I am by nature not a person to hide when a storm comes by...
But i seem to be running... hiding....
If i run... i know i will keep running from the grip of pincers now... from the lightning.... from the thunder that follows.... from the winds that beat down the strongest of rocks.... from being made into a grain of sand as non descript as the others.....

Comfortable sadness

Money cant buy you happiness. It cant but you friends. It cant buy you your trust. It cant buy u love. It cant buy u a lot of things.... but it sure can get u everything u need to cry or whine in comfort sitting on a fluffy soft cushion in a huge clean house with yaani playing in the bg :p

Never again.

I learnt a language for a person. So i can read as much as my friend. Keep company.
I had a patient teacher long distance... i had promised wen u see me next... ill read a whole story out to u... as long as u dont loose patience....and i was told patience is a strong suit....
When i did read it out.... well i didnt read really... i did struggle the first few lines would have annoyed anybody.... and my teacher, my friends patience must have drained.... i didnt realise. Stupid me. How can i be so unperceptive...
And when i did realise... it was so ironic....
No patience no interest....
I dont know why i tried to learn a language ive live for 28 yrs without.
If i cud turn back time i never wud have started.... i never shud have....
Now thts not possible is it....
Never again.
i have lost the taste of pride i had.
Maybe i wasnt worth it anyway.

Maddening crowd and new town

So i travelled for four and a half hours to see the beach on new town...
The roads were horrible...
In a while they were so narrow that the car was probably pushed out most of the time. As i was nearing my destined land i saw on both sides dry trees... passing me by... and a few white hills of salt...  and my blessed land came... lined with rows of boats.... crowded.... so many bikes... so many cars... so many screaming shouting families... a maddening crowd....
As i walked through the crowd.... looking far away to the stretch of sand beyond.... i was at peace...far away from the maddening crowd... the beach so clear.... the sands so clean... the turquoise green and blue merging beautifully... on my right a thick growth of castuarina trees bent forever in the direction of the wind.... i stood in wonder.... at the calm sea.... let my girl to play... and play she did.... ran the lengths of the beach with a twinkle in her eye.... a smile which was all over her body.... she loved it too.... i walked along the shore.... wondering... thinking.... how easy it was to get away from the crowd.... and still be close by....we caught a few juicy crabs.... a few tiny transparent crabs with just a hint of green in the middle disappeared into nowhere.... the beauty of it all... the peace....it was worth the travel... it was worth the wait.... along came thoughts of how its so easy to break a persons flowery ideas..... how it wud disappoint to hear a few wrds said....
As i stood in the waters edge i was pulled... the water clear until then turns muddy and murky at my feet.... and draws me in... the sea i realise was deceptively calm.... when it had strong currents underneath its surface.... all we had to do was break the surface.....
And the time came to leave... the sky was changing colors.... it looks like its not just people whis colors change... but this was beauty... the blues... the violets... the pinks.... the moon rose... a transparent disc like imprint.... from the waters.... and started to shine as i walked toward the crowd....
Its back to the madness...
Back to the chotic routine...
Back to the maddening crowd....
New town... u will always be in my heart.... u opened new roads for me my dear friend....

Tamil Check

So the learn to read tamil in thirty days does work. Today is my twenty sixth day. I can read though a tad bit slow. But i read my first short story sucessfully this evening. It was absolutely worth the 26 days. I didnt try all the time those twenty six days either... i stopped for four days because when i was cribbing about how complicated the script is and sighed.... my teacher got so annoyed that i was told u read u gain if not its not the languages loss.... so i stopped. Tht makes it what? 23 days.
The days i took a break to hit my most favorite place. The beach.with my most favorite people. So three days strike. 20 days.
Of the 20 days its an hour and a half per day.... so yup moral of the story.
Learn tamil in 30 days pdf works.
Languages known
Hindi check
Sanskrit check
English check
And now.... tamil check **feeling proud**

Time to conquer another in 30 days. This time i know i wont have the kind, patient teacher i had for my first triumph.... so it may take a while....