The river.

Its hard to let go
As you stand on tge other side of the riverbank
I watch the current pull tender shoots with a mind of its own
I extend my hand to call out to you
My hand raised
My voice fails
As i see your back you dont hear my call
You move making circles trying to see me
Trying to hear my voice
My voice is not heard
My hand falls
My throat parched
I watch
I watch you move, you walk, you search
Nothing to do but watch
Nothing i can do but watch
The river flows
The shoots are carried with the water toward the ocean
The river flows
I dont see i dont hear
But the river flows

Thankyou rickshaw anna

Today for the first time in decades i felt unsafe.
Unsafe to be a woman.
To walk down the road and be tapped on your back and being oogled at while it was being done.

I was draped in a saree. The cotton starched saree which i always saw myself draping once i hit my thirties...
Walking down the road that i have almost always walked alone on...

A man stumbled along... I thought in a drunken stupor little did i know men use that gait to feel womenfolk up.
Him and i crossed paths...
I gave him a wide berth to stumble around and find his footing, as i walked past toward a grocery shop to get myself a bottle of water and a banana, i felt a hand slap my behind and grope, as i turned to see what was happening and to actually do something about it i saw him blow a kiss with the hand to my butt...
It was demeaning...
It was embarassing...
I felt so violated...

It was the man i thought was drunk...
And because i assumed he was drunk I let it slide and turned away with my head down and my eyes cringing....  Crowds of people watching not doing anything...all dressed like working professionals just standing watching... Doing nothing while he lunged at the pallu of my saree to pull off my chest...

In a minute, a man, another on the road, a man who was tired from his daily labor, a rickshaw puller stepped up and hit the man and told him to stop and think about his wife and children and ran the gropper away.

I didnt buy what i went for. But i got much more.

All i did was
I folded my hands to him and said thank you.
If only there were people like him i mau feel a lot safer on the roads henceforth.
But for now home delivery from amazon and flipkart makes a lot more sense. :(

It hurts.
Just does.
Dont know what.
Dont know how.
It hurts anyway.

What ever they say
Pain doesnt teach love.

Hurt anyway.
Tears of blood will turn into pearls someday.
Eyes that twinkle may turn to stars for real.
The heart that dreads may hold tighter till the end.
The dread that envelopes may never end.
Forever and more.

Near but yet so far.

There are fights and then there are fights.
But fights and arguements are said to show how much one heart cares for the other.
If that is so why does one bleed when the other lashes... Or why does the other run when this one squeezes too tight...
The matters of the heart are not meant for the mind to understand. That much has been cleared over the last year.
Near but so far that i wish to go far to be near.