Tap out

I am so unsure of myself now. 
They have succeeded.
They have won. 
I lose. 
I give in. 
I tap out of the game. 
Twice shouted at in front of students and third time I tap out. 
Not sure why it is happening but it is. 
It is what it is. 
I wish I knew how to play mind games.  But, I don't. 
It feels exhausting.
I give up.
I will not talk anymore.  I will not smile anymore. I will not encourage anymore coz apparently that is not in my job description of working as a subordinate.
I tap out. I am tired.
I tap out.  I am confused.
The match is declared forfeit.