dark corners and gangsta women

The last one fortnight the street lights been out at the corner of my street. 

I notice a solitary vehicle parked every single night. As it passes dusk and the sun goes down and our houses twinkle up lit by our tiny gate lights. This car rolls in and stays there till way past 10. 

Passing by I see that it's not just parked but there are people inside. 

10 days I did what I was taught to do in this big city. Turn your eyes. Look the other way  what does it matter as long as it doesn't affect you or your own. Today I walked up and said it's too dark for you to be parked here please leave since this is a problem zone with young kids following everything that's being done in front of their eyes. The man driving took the car out and left. 

While I continued on my daily ritual of feeding everyone on the road. The car passed me by a ladies voice called out to me and asked me why I took out my phone if we had cctv to go submit the video. 

I honestly don't remember if I even took the phone out. I mean it was dark and I needed the time maybe I did and she started yelling . Ok. Maybe that is her normal voice. But it was raised to me. 

She wanted to check my phone and started behaving a bully. 

Me as usual trying to hold under the confrontational tone. Adrenaline pumping started having tremors which I guess she noticed and attributed to me being scared and started behaving aggressively. Finally a young man came from his house and told them to leave. 

Until then. It was me a woman standing and talking to 2 people who were behaving aggressive and defensive. The minute they realized they could corner they took on the spot of the forward rather than defense. 

Once a man albeit a young one came to defend me they sped away. 

She snatched my phone. Started looking through my pictures when I could snatched it back. 

My point in this is. 

Why are we taught to turn the other way. To not see what is in front of us. To not question people who are being sneaky or fishy. 

Why do people think they can bully women when if men say the same thing it is valued more. 

Why is there all this hullabaloo about women empowerment and equality when not a single person sees it or does anything about it. 

Why if a wrong is questioned it is ok to leap and attack the person who questions and not do the right thing. 

Is it Indian society or is it just the place I am at. 

Why after facing this situation the first thing I felt was I don't belong in this city and why do I feel I would be better placed in the rural places where people come to help others in need and the same rural India claimed to be backward have people who follow a basic sense of decorum in a public space. 

In a rural India where even if they have an illicit relationship outside of marriage it is still done in the open. 

Kids from the relationship are still given a fair share from the property by the children from within the wedlock out of their own sense of fairness. 

Why is rural India where the woman is given a right to choose what she wants if she walks out of a marriage called regressive when in fact in cities women are spoken down to, even when trying to question something wrong. 

Why, do I want to be anyplace but the city. 

Is it because I lived in exile for 14 years like the Lord Rama without his Sita. 

Or is it because I am an introvert putting on an extroverted personality facade? 

I just said I am glad I didn't take the hill named  after the 9th avatar. But I question myself. Am I? 

I want to go where women are liberated. Where I am not spoken down to or bullied for standing up for what is right.

Or maybe I want to disappear. 

Maybe another 30 years on this planet is too long. 

I know one thing for sure. I will be around atleast until my little one is around. Maybe not more. Since I never did have an umbilical cord cut from me this little one is the one that will keep me going until then. 

And until then I will live by the city's rules. Don't look. Turn away. Don't ask. Don't talk.