beautiful no more.

At 26 I want to have a child with you. Ofcourse! Would I say no to having a child with a beautiful woman as you. 

At 36. Beautiful no more.

Ah there's dust in my eyes and a knife in my heart.

As I was driving without knowing where to spend the next one hour I ended up at the Beach. Coming to the waves after three years is cathartic. 

Watching the sliver of foam move from one side to another. My eyes drifted upward toward the skies a d my mind went to what wasn't meant to be. 

The first, was never to be. 

The second was friendship that I thought was love and in the end broke me. Or so I thought. 

This. This has truly broken me. 

Every curve. Every line. Every crease that once held a thought. Every Grey. Every step. Every breath. 

This. This is love. 

I sit here at the beach. Tears fill my eyes. The last time I was at the world's most beautiful beach living my own pain. 

How I wish the tides turn my way at sometime. How I wish it was at the time that has shattered me. 

How I wish it was still 3 instead of just me to send the long trunked man home. 

My chest hurts as I type this sitting in front of the waves. Hoping these tears will be the last everytime I think. Knowing fully well it won't. 

Time will heal they say. 

I sure hope it does. Coz I sure don't see time doing jackshit over the last year.