Will you… hold my hand for a little while?

I don’t need you to save me.

No need for you to fix anything.

No need for you to carry my pain.

But will you simply hold my hand?

I don’t need your words,

Your thoughts,

Nor your shoulders to carry me.

But will you sit here for a while with me?

Whilst my tears stream,

Whilst my heart shatters,

Whilst my mind plays tricks on me,

Will you, with your presence, let me know that I am not alone, while I wander into my inner unknown?

For my darkness is mine to face,

My pain is mine to feel,

And my wounds are mine to heal.

But will you sit with me here, while I courageously show up for it all, my dear?

For I am bright because of my darkness,

Beautiful because of my brokenness,

And strong because of my tender heart.

But will you take my hand lovingly when I sometimes journey into the dark?

I don’t ask for you to take my darkness away,

I don’t expect you to brighten my day,

And I don’t believe you can mend my pain.

But I would surely love it if you could sit for a while and hold my hand, until I find my way out of my shadowland!

So, will you… hold my hand until I return again?

day 3 of looking for you

"The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.

It's not the shattering itself that breaks you—it’s the silence that follows, the quiet space where you realize there’s nothing left to salvage. And in that moment, you know that you’ll never be the same again. 

You’ll build something new, perhaps, but it will never be what you lost."🌻🖤

.

.

.

Having a dog is1000 of your best days and just one of your worst.

I miss you patoos

my Lil one. the love of my life. the life of my love.

The heart in my eyes. The soul in my thoughts. The only one who stood sat and slept with me through floors, ropes, coirs, sheets and fluffies. The one i came home for. Came home to. The only reason i ate. Coz i had to cook for you.The one who walked ran rode and drove with me. 

My little one. My entire life. The one with my story. Rest and my story rests with you. Noone else. Never again. 

Rest my dear Lil one. 

Oh my love.

My Lil Ms.B

***Bhairavi Ammajo Iyer***

08. February. 2025

Saturday

00.20 am.

declutter time again

There's a sense of having a small win when something leaves the house.

5 Feb 2025

Hope amma boss welcomed you into her embrace and said Hello Boss!!!! 

Rest my little poonai kutty, veshamamootai. The one I tot I will grow into my 60s with has been taken from me today, far too soon. 

5.02.2025. R.i.p. Gymnu gymjoo thangapatoo.

my story. mine.

What happened to me isn’t your story to tell. 

You weren’t there in the hardest moments—when I had to dig deep just to keep going, when no one else could see the weight I was carrying. You know parts of it, sure, but not everything. And knowing a little doesn’t mean you understand the whole picture. My struggles, my choices, my growth are mine, and it’s up to me to decide how and when to share them.

If you care, then respect that. Don’t assume, don’t speculate, and don’t speak on things you don’t fully understand. Sharing someone else’s story without knowing the whole truth isn’t fair, no matter your intention. 

My boundaries exist for a reason, and honoring them is a way of honoring me. My story is personal, and it’s not yours to share—it’s mine to tell, in my own time and my own way.